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10/01/2005:

"Abort Every White Baby!"

by Justin Felux
Bill Bennett, a prominent right-wing blowhard, has recently come under intense fire for remarks made on his radio show, in which he stated, "I do know that it's true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could ... abort every black baby in this country." He quickly backed away from the proposition, saying "That would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down." It's unfortunate that Bennett chose to be so politically correct, because I think he may be onto something here. He's just wrong about the target. If we really wanna get tough on crime, it's the white babies who should start getting the coat hanger treatment.

Consider the fact that whites commit three times as many violent crimes as blacks every year, just in raw numbers. This is just for ordinary "street crimes" such as assault. The numbers become skewed out of this world when you consider "white-collar" crimes (typically, the collar isn't the only thing that's white).

For instance, job-related accidents and illnesses claimed the lives of 70,000 Americans in 1992, a significant portion of which can be chalked up to white employers neglecting to comply with occupational health and safety laws. According to studies, up to 64,000 die every year due to pollution and other environmental hazards produced by industry. Another 21,700 die due to consumer product deaths, costing the nation $200 billion a year. Another $200 billion is lost annually due to white-collar embezzlement. These two statistics alone add up to over 26 times the amount of all the robberies and petty thefts committed every year combined!

We should also not forget the ravages of the white-owned health care system and insurance industry. Around 18,000 adults are killed every year as a result of a lack of medical coverage. Over 25 thousand die as a result of unnecessary prescriptions and surgeries performed by mostly white doctors. All in all, corporate criminals take about ten times as many lives as street criminals. And I haven't even mentioned the white men who control the apparatus of state, which through war, sanctions, and other means kills hundreds of thousands, if not millions more. Over 100,000 civilians have died in Iraq alone, for example.

I don't know about you, but every time I see a white man in a suit I find a place to hide. Once I feel safe, I call the Department of Homeland Security to report his suspicious activity. I simply don't feel safe knowing that all these savage, white thugs are out walking the streets. After all, from Bob Chambliss to Timothy McVeigh to Eric Rudolph, by far most of the terrorist attacks in America have been committed by whites.

Which brings me to my next point: even if a white guy isn't wearing a suit, you still shouldn't assume that he isn't dangerous. One can find a plethora of deadly and pathological behaviors uniquely prevalent among whites who look just as ordinary as you and me. Most notable among them are spree killing, serial murder, and cannibalism. About 90% of all serial killers are white men. Some other white pastimes include animal torture, vampirism, Satan worship, witchcraft, self-mutilation, eating disorders, and child sexual molestation. White men engage in child sexual abuse at twice the rate of black men. By aborting all the white babies, we will be protecting a great many children from the horror of enduring abuse at the hands of white male sex perverts (pardon the redundancy), in addition to preventing the creation of new white molesters in the future.

Alas, even if we allowed white fetuses to continue living, and they manage to avoid the pitfalls of vampirism, corporate employment, and serial murder, the odds are still pretty good that they will turn out to be hopeless drunks. Whites are 74% more likely than blacks to binge drink regularly. In fact, there are more binge drinking whites than there are blacks in the entire population of the country! Naturally, whites are twice as likely as blacks to drive drunk, resulting in over ten thousand deaths every year. The same trend can be seen when considering drug use in general, contrary to popular belief. Whites make up 74% of illegal drug users, whereas only 14% are black. Whites make up a majority of drug dealers as well.

Given all of these facts, can there be any doubt that aborting every white baby would not only reduce the crime rate, but would also result in a much safer, cleaner, and happier existence for all Americans? I can already hear some of you sissy liberals whining about "human rights" or some other nonsense. In reality, you are soft on crime and lack the rugged individualism necessary to get things done. At the very least, we should start forcibly sterilizing white males, much in the same way we did to Latinas and black women up until the 1970s.

I think the most interesting debate will be over the question of what to do with mixed race babies. Should we apply the "one drop" rule, whereby one drop of white blood marks the fetus for termination? I doubt we'll need to take it to that extreme. If the baby is say, 1/8 white, then its more destructive tendencies should be sufficiently diluted. Nevertheless, police and homeland security should still apply increased scrutiny to individuals whose skin looks suspiciously pale. I'm sure Bill Bennett wouldn't mind taking a little harassment from the cops if it results in a safer America for everyone.
zmag.org